words for me: ~~Something To Read About~~

CLOSING CYCLES by: Paolo Coelho

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.

Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.

Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents' house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden?

You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that.

But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.

None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot for ever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or
rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming
back.

Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away. That is why it is so important (however painful it maybe!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.

Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not
expect anything in return; do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, and decisions that are always put off waiting for the ideal moment. Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person. Nothing is irreplaceable. A habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, and shake off the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Steps To Take To Avoid Getting Hurt In A Relationship

The biggest fear when it comes to a relationship is whether or not a certain person will leave you hurt, heart broken or otherwise affected. What I've found though is that many people open themselves up for potential hurt by not following a few common sense rules. It seems that the desire to be around someone who is interested in you, even if you are "settling" by being with him or her is worth the risk. If you find yourself in, or afraid of these types of situations, keep in mind the following tips. They just might help you avoid a future hurt.

*Find Out Where You Stand
The unknown is a powerful force. It can drive you crazy, make you doubt yourself and potentially destroy a relationship. Don't let this happen to you! Make sure you know where you stand in your relationship. In the same respect, make sure you continually let your partner know where they stand as well. You'll both be happier, and you'll have an easier time of communicating to each other.

*Don't Play Mind Games
The person you are involved with, or about to be involved with, is another being -- just like you. Playing mind games is just another way to increase your chances of getting hurt in the end. Personally, I feel that if you are willing to play mind games with a person, then you don't respect that individual enough for a relationship anyway. So do that person a favor and let him or her go.

*Don't Sleep with Someone You Don’t Know Very Well
This may seem obvious, but for many people it is not. I've heard countless requests for advice which involve a person not sure where they stand with a certain person, yet they've been involved intimately with them. Now they are faced with a potential loveless affair, are completely unhappy, and are being driven by the fear of the unknown. No matter what the urge is, if you are interested in someone for more than just a fling, don't do it until, at the very least, you are clear about the other person's feelings for you. You can avoid many future downfalls by following this tip!

*Be Honest With Each Other
Your honesty, or lack thereof, can either build or destroy your relationship. Be honest with your partner about everything,and expect the same from your partner.Too many times, I see people who have let their partner lie to them about everything, cheat on them, and worse -- yet, they continue to be with them all "in the name of love." That type of love is no love at all. It is clinging to the fact that being with someone, even though they are hurting you, is better than being alone. It is fine, and perfectly reasonable to have strong feelings or affection towards someone, but it is altogether something else when you allow yourself to stay in a relationship that has a negative effect on you.

*Don't Settle
If you know that a person isn't right for you -- go find someone who is. Don't wait to see if the relationship could turn into something better. You'll only find yourself a few years down the line in the same, or in an even worse, situation than you are in now. If you find yourself nit-picking about too many of your partner's traits early in your relationship, think forward to how much these "traits" will bother you after a few years.
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A relationship is 50% your responsibility, and 50% your partner's. Sometimes those numbers change depending on the situation. If you find things going down the wrong path, speak up and do something about it. Don't let it slide, thinking that things will get better. Proclaimed ignorance is not an excuse.This is YOUR life, don't be afraid to do things that will make it better.